He wasn't a leader, he wasn't alert
The apple-cheeked lad with the puke on his shirt
Few could have guessed it, few could have known
Georgie would one day ascend to the throne

     "Everything's fine," young Dubya would slur
     Passed out on a pool table, life in a blur

He quit his carousing, he cleaned up his act
He traded his toga for a ten gallon hat
He got some investors, he drilled him a well
Deep in the ground til it went straight to hell

     But everything's fine, no need to get mad
     So small was his blunder, so big was his dad

He got him some handlers, he got him a team
To learn him what all of them "policies" mean
This time his investors, they did not go wrong
They put him in Austin, right where he belonged!

     Everything's fine, his cronies did sing
     "Dubya the Guv'na"-- it had a nice ring!

Crime was a problem, he knew what to do
He built him some prisons, built him a slew
Private facilities, grave consequences
They sprung up like malls with electrified fences

To house all the hoodlums and villains and thugs
Especially those with the nerve to try drugs
Now every bad Leroy and Jim-Bob and Jethro
Sits countin' the days on a privatized Death Row

     And everything's fine, there's justice for all
     Wheel out the gurney, don't wait for the call!

But the governor's mansion was still not the scene
For a Texas-size man with a Texas-size dream
Just like his daddy, he longed to be king
Tossing his pinwheel hat in the ring

     Everything's fine, there's money to burn
     And damned brother Jeb can just wait his turn!

The Democrats' choice was a Tennessee stud
Who necked with his wife just to prove he had blood
A deep-thinking cyborg with silicon charm
Born with a manual tucked under his arm

They bantered, they battled, in desperate need
To cover the fact that they mostly agreed
They jabbed and they jeered til their faces were red
But America still watched Survivor instead

     Yes, everything's fine, this thing's good as won
     Double your pleasure, double your fun
     W's comin' so strap on your gun
     And stay out of trouble my son, my son
     Just stay out of trouble, my son