THE PRESIDENT'S PENIS IS MISSING

The president's penis is missing
A nation looks on in despair
Like November in Dallas
We loved the first phallus
Then one day it just wasn't there
The president, calm in a crisis
As sightings start trickling in
Appears on TV with an impassioned plea
"Please call me with details of where you have been."

He couldn't control his galloping pole
As it carried him hither and yon
We all said his willy's his heel of Achilles
But even a heel can be missed when he's gone

Hillary claims to know nothing
She denies accusations in tears
The reliable scoop: she was out of the loop
And in fact hasn't seen it in years
Authorities offer descriptions
But no one knows quite what to say
An anonymous source says it's not like a horse
For one thing, it never says "nay"

He couldn't control his galloping pole
It got loose like the cannon it is
We all said his willy's his heel of Achilles
But even a heel has a soul that must live

In Washington, Bill's not alone
As someone who won't pass a chance up
Funny they felt they should call it the Beltway
Where no one can quite keep his pants up

Newt got some booty
Outside the duty
Marriage is said to command
Interns and pages are part of the wages
For all the great sages who govern this land

But back to the matter at hand

The president's penis is missing
It was seen at the Capitol Mall
It spoke incognito, disguised as a cheetoh
"What counts is libido and size should mean nothing at all!"