Ira Marlowe - NO-NAME MONSTERS: synopsis

	NO-NAME MONSTERS: synopsis Picture a world where history's most infamous creations lounge in luxury, sipping cognac and collecting residuals. It's Monster Castle, home to Frankenstein, Wolfman, Cyclops, Medusa and every other monster who's ever made the big time. But life is not as sweet as it once was. Civil war has erupted! The servant-class of monsters, an unsung horde of "no-names" (including the crude "Scuzzball", the cultured "Moldman", the kleptomaniacal "Pilfer Gnomes" and the yuppified "Ms. Tension") have abandoned the castle and are fighting for equality. Tensions mount!!! Battles rage!!! Dishes pile up!!! Back in the human world, another battle is taking place. Ten year-old Billie is a gifted artist, amazing everyone but Walter, her self-absorbed father. When Walter struggles with his fantasy novel about-yep, a civil war between monsters-Billie offers her help. She's designed what she calls "the ultimate monster", but her father wants no part of it, rejecting her drawings angrily. But before Billie can come up with a new design, Walter has mysteriously vanished. Poof! Walter has been kidnapped by the Famous Monsters, who've caught wind of his book and believe he's psychic! But alas, Walter's the victim of coincidence-"Nostra-dumb-ass" is soon locked in the dungeon by President Frankenstein. Walter faces death unless he can offer a useful prediction about the No-Name Monsters' battle plans. Meanwhile, Billie is determined to locate her father. Assisted by an eccentric old New Age Lady, she finds her way into the Monster World. There, she meets "Boogerman", a slippery old vaudevillian brandishing a "double-barrel snot gun". The gruff but kindly Boogerman leads Billie back to the No-Name Monsters' campsite where, claiming to be a monster herself, she soon enters their ranks. Back in the human world, Billie and Walter's disappearance has become a media circus. A tabloid reporter steals Billie's drawings and they're soon seen on TV around the nation. Pressed for a prediction, Walter hastily warns of an "orange monster that spits purple goo"-exactly the beast Billie had earlier described to him. The Famous Monsters scoff at this, but just as Walter is about to be executed this very monster materializes, surprising no one more than Walter! (The monster appears in Monsterland because it's now become famous!) Walter is freed and, remembering what Billie had told him about the monster's one weakness, he manages to tame it. Suddenly he's redeemed and the Famous Monsters throw a party in his honor. Using her film-buff's knowledge about weaknesses of famous monsters, Billie becomes the No-Names' Joan of Arc. Hoping to rescue her father, she leads a daring attack on the castle. But when she finally sees her father, he's leading the charge against them! And riding the very monster she designed! What's to become of Billie and Walter??? How will the No-Name Monsters gain equality??? And who's gonna wash all those dishes??? (c)1998, Ira Marlowe. WGA registration # 639193 N O - N A M E M O N S T E R S: the songs It's the story of Billie, a wily 10-year-old girl who must travel to the world of the monsters to rescue her kidnapped father-in the midst of a very wacky war. Upper crust Famous Monsters such as Frankenstein, Dracula and Wolfman battle the downtrodden No-Name Monsters-including the crude "Scuzzball", the vaudevillian "Boogerman", the cultured "Moldman" and the yuppie "Ms. Tension" -struggling for equality and a shot at the big time. 1. MONSTER FROM THE MOVIES The Famous Monsters dance about in Monster Castle, applauding their own celebrity. President Frankenstein announces the civil war with "these no-name nothings" will soon be over: they've now developed a powerful secret weapon. 2. NEVER AGAIN! (not on cassette) Hunkered down at their wooded campsite, the No-Name Monsters vow to fight on. They're tired of living in servitude and being treated as second-class citizens, just because they've never gotten "that one lucky break". 3. WHAT'S THE SECRET WEAPON? Back in the human world, we meet Billie's father Walter. A struggling author, he's searching for the missing element in his fantasy novel about a civil war between monsters. Is this merely coincidence? Or is Walter somehow psychic??? 4. ALL I HAVE TO DO Billie is a prodigy as an artist, which wins her great praise from everyone but her self-absorbed father. She approaches him with her design for "the ultimate monster", thinking this might help him finish his book. He rejects her angrily and she flees to her room, wondering how to ever find his approval. 5. BOOGERMAN'S THEME Walter has mysteriously vanished! With the help of a bizarre New Age Lady, Billie manages to follow him into the monster world. There, she's confronted by a kindly green ghoul who longs to be a song-and-dance-man. 6. "NEXT THING I KNEW..." Walter has been kidnapped by the Famous Monsters, who believe his "psychic powers" will give them an edge against the enemy: he's the secret weapon!!! But Walter proves a bust as a psychic and "Nostra-dumb-ass" is soon imprisoned, along with the Mad Scientist who engineered his kidnapping. While chained in the dungeon, the old man reveals a secret: he's not really a Famous Monster, but a human scientist hoping to return to his "natural habitat." 7. JUST A BIT PECULIAR In attempting to rescue her father, Billie has joined the No-Name "army" and, in a comic battle scene, proves to be something of a Joan of Arc . This inspires the jealousy of the caffeine-addled "Ms. Tension" and the intolerant "Biglet", evil No-Name Monsters who suspect her of treachery. Moldman, Scuzzball and Gaudia rise in Billie's defense. 8. DO THE MONSTER! In a surprising twist, Billie's "ultimate monster" springs from the page, materializing in Monsterland to attack the castle! Walter is freed from the dungeon and, remembering what Billie had told him about its one weakness, succeeds in taming the beast. Having won the Famous Monsters' favor, he basks in the spotlight as they throw him a party-to honor him as one of their own! 9. SORRY Billie and the No-Names converge upon the castle, hoping to rescue Walter. But when Billie finally lays eyes on her father, he's leading the charge against them, and riding the very monster she designed!!! Not recognizing his armored daughter, Walter nearly kills her with the monster's deadly purple goo. Devastated, Billie flees alone into the woods. 10. GOOD-BYE TO TROUBLED TIMES Having seemingly won their civil war, the Famous Monsters applaud Walter, the conquering hero. 11. WHERE'S THE GLORY? In spite of all the adulation, Walter is very troubled. He misses his family and begins to see the folly of his ways. 12. MONSTER RAP (not on cassette) Following the story's climax (in which Billie and Walter are reunited and reconciled), we see a series of comic epilogues. They are accompanied by this hip-hop rocker, which explains the key difference between monsters and humans. (c) 1998, Ira Marlowe

NO-NAME MONSTERS: synopsis

Picture a world where history's most infamous creations lounge in luxury, sipping cognac and collecting residuals. It's Monster Castle, home to Frankenstein, Wolfman, Cyclops, Medusa and every other monster who's ever made the big time.

But life is not as sweet as it once was. Civil war has erupted!

The servant-class of monsters, an unsung horde of "no-names" (including the crude "Scuzzball", the cultured "Moldman", the kleptomaniacal "Pilfer Gnomes" and the yuppified "Ms. Tension") have abandoned the castle and are fighting for equality. Tensions mount!!! Battles rage!!! Dishes pile up!!!

Back in the human world, another battle is taking place. Ten year-old Billie is a gifted artist, amazing everyone but Walter, her self-absorbed father. When Walter struggles with his fantasy novel about-yep, a civil war between monsters-Billie offers her help. She's designed what she calls "the ultimate monster", but her father wants no part of it, rejecting her drawings angrily. But before Billie can come up with a new design, Walter has mysteriously vanished. Poof!

Walter has been kidnapped by the Famous Monsters, who've caught wind of his book and believe he's psychic! But alas, Walter's the victim of coincidence-"Nostra-dumb-ass" is soon locked in the dungeon by President Frankenstein. Walter faces death unless he can offer a useful prediction about the No-Name Monsters' battle plans.

Meanwhile, Billie is determined to locate her father. Assisted by an eccentric old New Age Lady, she finds her way into the Monster World. There, she meets "Boogerman", a slippery old vaudevillian brandishing a "double-barrel snot gun". The gruff but kindly Boogerman leads Billie back to the No-Name Monsters' campsite where, claiming to be a monster herself, she soon enters their ranks.

Back in the human world, Billie and Walter's disappearance has become a media circus. A tabloid reporter steals Billie's drawings and they're soon seen on TV around the nation.

Pressed for a prediction, Walter hastily warns of an "orange monster that spits purple goo"-exactly the beast Billie had earlier described to him. The Famous Monsters scoff at this, but just as Walter is about to be executed this very monster materializes, surprising no one more than Walter! (The monster appears in Monsterland because it's now become famous!)

Walter is freed and, remembering what Billie had told him about the monster's one weakness, he manages to tame it. Suddenly he's redeemed and the Famous Monsters throw a party in his honor. Using her film-buff's knowledge about weaknesses of famous monsters, Billie becomes the No-Names' Joan of Arc. Hoping to rescue her father, she leads a daring attack on the castle. But when she finally sees her father, he's leading the charge against them! And riding the very monster she designed!

What's to become of Billie and Walter??? How will the No-Name Monsters gain equality??? And who's gonna wash all those dishes???

N O - N A M E M O N S T E R S: the songs

It's the story of Billie, a wily 10-year-old girl who must travel to the world of the monsters to rescue her kidnapped father-in the midst of a very wacky war. Upper crust Famous Monsters such as Frankenstein, Dracula and Wolfman battle the downtrodden No-Name Monsters-including the crude "Scuzzball", the vaudevillian "Boogerman", the cultured "Moldman" and the yuppie "Ms. Tension" -struggling for equality and a shot at the big time.

1. MONSTER FROM THE MOVIES The Famous Monsters dance about in Monster Castle, applauding their own celebrity. President Frankenstein announces the civil war with "these no-name nothings" will soon be over: they've now developed a powerful secret weapon.

2. NEVER AGAIN! (not on cassette) Hunkered down at their wooded campsite, the No-Name Monsters vow to fight on. They're tired of living in servitude and being treated as second-class citizens, just because they've never gotten "that one lucky break".

3. WHAT'S THE SECRET WEAPON? Back in the human world, we meet Billie's father Walter. A struggling author, he's searching for the missing element in his fantasy novel about a civil war between monsters. Is this merely coincidence? Or is Walter somehow psychic???

4. ALL I HAVE TO DO Billie is a prodigy as an artist, which wins her great praise from everyone but her self-absorbed father. She approaches him with her design for "the ultimate monster", thinking this might help him finish his book. He rejects her angrily and she flees to her room, wondering how to ever find his approval.

5. BOOGERMAN'S THEME Walter has mysteriously vanished! With the help of a bizarre New Age Lady, Billie manages to follow him into the monster world. There, she's confronted by a kindly green ghoul who longs to be a song-and-dance-man.

6. "NEXT THING I KNEW..." Walter has been kidnapped by the Famous Monsters, who believe his "psychic powers" will give them an edge against the enemy: he's the secret weapon!!! But Walter proves a bust as a psychic and "Nostra-dumb-ass" is soon imprisoned, along with the Mad Scientist who engineered his kidnapping. While chained in the dungeon, the old man reveals a secret: he's not really a Famous Monster, but a human scientist hoping to return to his "natural habitat."

7. JUST A BIT PECULIAR In attempting to rescue her father, Billie has joined the No-Name "army" and, in a comic battle scene, proves to be something of a Joan of Arc . This inspires the jealousy of the caffeine-addled "Ms. Tension" and the intolerant "Biglet", evil No-Name Monsters who suspect her of treachery. Moldman, Scuzzball and Gaudia rise in Billie's defense.

8. DO THE MONSTER! In a surprising twist, Billie's "ultimate monster" springs from the page, materializing in Monsterland to attack the castle! Walter is freed from the dungeon and, remembering what Billie had told him about its one weakness, succeeds in taming the beast. Having won the Famous Monsters' favor, he basks in the spotlight as they throw him a party-to honor him as one of their own!

9. SORRY Billie and the No-Names converge upon the castle, hoping to rescue Walter. But when Billie finally lays eyes on her father, he's leading the charge against them, and riding the very monster she designed!!! Not recognizing his armored daughter, Walter nearly kills her with the monster's deadly purple goo. Devastated, Billie flees alone into the woods.

10. GOOD-BYE TO TROUBLED TIMES Having seemingly won their civil war, the Famous Monsters applaud Walter, the conquering hero.

11. WHERE'S THE GLORY? In spite of all the adulation, Walter is very troubled. He misses his family and begins to see the folly of his ways.

12. MONSTER RAP (not on cassette) Following the story's climax (in which Billie and Walter are reunited and reconciled), we see a series of comic epilogues. They are accompanied by this hip-hop rocker, which explains the key difference between monsters and humans.